Learning How To “Hug The World” with Kimberly Williams

0:00:15 Shanell Lamere You're listening to What She Grows Through, a podcast dedicated to empower and uplift black women to grow their self worth. I'm your host, Chanel Lamir, one of many dope black women creating a community for us to pour into and align with one another, uncovering our true feelings from sexuality to self love, to begin growing through life and evolving into our best authentic selves. Let's get started. 0:00:52 Shanell Lamere What's up, beautiful? It's your girl, Chanela. Mary back again with the latest episode of the What She Grows Through podcast. I'm hoping I'm finding you well in this moment, and it's been some time since we last chatted, and let me just say that I'm doing all the things I feel like that's my phrase now, like I sprinkle it all over my life. There are a lot of plans in the works for the show in our community, and I'm just slowly taking it all in and just try not to get lost in it all. 0:01:28 Shanell Lamere I will definitely do another episode just to let you in on my life and just all the behind the scenes on how it is to just have a podcast and incorporate in that in your life. But I just want to be able to practice what I preach with you. So I'm doing it beautiful, and I'm enjoying the moment, and in a year from now, we'll be able to just look back at all the things again. I'm using that phrase. But today I bring you an informative, impactful, inspiring, empowering message. 0:02:09 Shanell Lamere Like this woman. I needed every gym that she was bringing to me, and I'm so excited to just share with you so you can feel empowered, too. The beautiful Kimberly Williams is a certified emotional intelligence coach and business strategist. She's a mother and a thought leader and a pastor. Oh, my goodness. And just let me just tell you this now. Once you hear this beauty, get into her zone of genius, how she flows and just makes you feel comfortable giving you all the vibes like, she that's how I was able to bring you this amazing conversation. 0:02:50 Shanell Lamere So I won't do too much talking. Just take a listen in on our conversation. And if you're into visuals, definitely go over to YouTube and check out our new channel at What She Grows Through. 0:03:03 Coach Kimm What's up, beautiful? It's your girl, Chanel. Amir back again with the latest episode of the What She Grows Through podcast. I have the amazing Coach Kim here. She's about to tell us all the things, and I'm just so excited to get in and dive right in. So we met in a clubhouse in all the rooms. I'm not sure which room I'll be in, a couple of them, but basically sharing my soul. We connected, and I had to get her on the show, and she's here now, so let's get into it first. 0:03:48 C Can I say hello to you? How are you doing? Yes. No, it's okay. You are such a natural beauty. And I just wanted to honor you and let you know that the work that you are doing is needed and it is much appreciated. So thank you so much for inviting me to this space because I'm excited about what will come of this. You expect to tell the things and the things are important to tell because there are so many people thinking that there is no the stuff and there is the stuff, and that's how people like me and them will be able to come out and continue to go forward. 0:04:26 C So with that being said, thank you for that. Who am I in this moment? I am a business owner. I am a mother. I am a pastor. I am a thought leader. And the thought that is my favorite thought to hone in on is emotional intelligence. And so I use emotional intelligence currently to assist corporations and personal brands to show up as their best self so they can reap the wealth that they are so worthy of. 0:05:05 Coach Kimm So you're doing all the things. Did you want to tap in a little bit on just a couple of the things or a couple of those titles, some that weighs heavy on your heart? 0:05:20 C Yes. Okay. So the first one is being a business owner, an entrepreneur is something that every one of us are, to be honest, we just don't know that we're owning our stuff every single day. And so when you can compartmentalize the vision that you have and create action steps towards seeing that thing through, that's the mindset and the mind state of an entrepreneur. What is my goal first, what's my macro goal? But then what are those micro goals that's going to get me to that space? 0:06:00 C And so being able to look over my collective resume and see the way that I show up for people looking at the things that I did voluntarily off the top of my head, the things that I did, those freebies that people get just because they're talking to me and in proximity. And I said, well, what type of business is that? What is that? And I found that when I go into these spaces and I think I'm going to be an executive assistant, I actually end up being the HR. 0:06:35 C I end up being, you know, the operations manager, the project manager, the director of all these things. And it's like, wait a minute. So I'm selling myself short and I'm just settling to be an administrator because I think all I add is my ability to text 65 words per minute or 88 words per minute. And God is like, no, baby, there is so much more in you. And so being willing to step out on that faith and say, let me embrace that. Let me not dare give this away for free again. 0:07:12 C Let me put a dollar to this and a brand to this and go forward. And so that's what I did. And I had to launch out what they call in the deep and I changed time zones and I'm able to successfully do this all while I'm a homeschooling mom and I home school children starting at age 16 and the youngest is two and a half years old. And the way that that looks for me is teaching principles but using the same principle across the board. 0:07:54 C Right now we are in Women's History Month. Therefore I am teaching about women in history and creating myself to be a woman of history. Right? And so they get to see that every single day. And so then the last part I'll talk about is the fact that I am a pastor. And that was something I have always been. Right? And I'm laughing, but I've always been this thing and I didn't want to be labeled it because it turns people off in church when a woman says that she's a pastor or just other people mess. 0:08:37 C And I decided to that other people's mess doesn't change the type of heart that God has given me. Other people's mess does not change the type of mind and the abilities that God has given me. And so I need to drop what I think or what I cared about the way other people viewed it and walk worthy of the call that's on my life. It is an honor to help people get to a place of knowing themselves in Christ and knowing that they are joint heirs to a holy throne through the work of Christ Jesus. And so that's important for me. 0:09:16 Coach Kimm Wow. And your thought leader skills just come out of that also because how you just delivered that whole thing. I'm trying to write things down like. 0:09:28 C Oh my goodness, watch the replay. 0:09:36 Coach Kimm And I love all the things that you said. In particular, what I wrote down was macro and micro goals. I never looked at it like that. So if you can talk just a little bit about how other people are able to take their goals and divide them into macro and micro goals yes. 0:10:03 C And then not only that, but know that you're going to be duplicating that formula multiple times in one strategy. So we're talking about quantitative reasoning, not just a simple math problem. And so when we look at a micro, I mean a macro issue. So let's say for me it was like, god, I just want to hug the world, but I am literally one person, so how can this one person do that was then my problem was I want to hug the world. 0:10:41 C So that's my macro focus. And so then I had to figure out the details to get to how do I do that, what does that look like? And so I said, okay, God said, don't worry about the how. Look at the what you actually add to the world. And so I looked at the wisdom that I hold. I look at the love in my heart that I have and I look at my ability to speak, then I look at my ability to walk into a room and I'm going to capture the attention of everyone for one but then I'm not afraid to approach them. 0:11:17 C So all of those things. So I started to look at my skill set in regard to that macro goal and so the how came along the way. So as I am using my skill set to speak, I became a radio host. And so becoming a radio host helped me to gather and galvanize the community around specific ideas. So I have been able to gather for justice and for peace rallies that consisted of Hebrew, Israelites, Christians, Muslims and Nation of Islam and even atheists and Wiccans all in one space. 0:12:01 C And God said I need you to look at what you're able to do. And I said God, I'm hugging the world, I'm doing it by doing the stuff right. And so it's just the things that I have the strength to do, because I will walk up to a person who doesn't necessarily look like me or doesn't a Muslim woman or the Nation of Islam. Brothers and sisters. And admire their discipline and admire their strength and have a starter conversation and be willing to listen, be willing to lend support to whatever their issue is. Servanthood right. 0:12:45 C That is how you hug the world. And so I've been able to connect with other countries and other continents to be able to continue to pour into them. So then they become my arm. And so guess then what I'm doing. I'm pastoring them because I'm leading them in a charge so that I'm guiding them along the directions that they're going right? But then I'm also doing it in love and doing it with the mind that there is a big picture for us all and greater purpose for us. 0:13:21 C So that there is supposed to be a uniform love across the land and we have to be the people willing to give it. All of us become world huggers. At that point again you find that problem. You recognize that there is a solution to that but it may be too big for you alone. So you have to then also face your imperfection, face your nervousness, right? Your inability to do it on your own, but look at what are your strengths. 0:13:58 C So where are my skill sets. So I found my skill set and then I plowed forward in my skill set and that is what created the solution to that macro problem. I hope that answered your question. 0:14:13 Coach Kimm Listen, I almost teared up a little bit because I'm just so emotional. Oh my God, your share just right then and there just made me basically want to be a better person. Like how can I figure out a way to hug the rural? Or maybe I am walking in that in my version of hugging the rural, showing up on clubhouse, being international now, I could put that on my resume now and then. Just having this kind of platform and being able to align with women like you, that is everything to me. So that just made it that much more real to me. 0:14:57 Shanell Lamere And. 0:15:00 Coach Kimm I'm kind of at all a little bit like, you're just awesome. But were you always just like this? How did all of these things start? Can you share just a little bit about, like, maybe your personal life journey on how you were able to get to this point before, like, entrepreneurship or sharing your your special gift? Like, did you always know about this gift? Did you have any personal life stories that you can share to get to this moment? 0:15:40 C Sure. Okay. No, I don't necessarily think that I was always this way, but what I was always is what they call the goody tushes. I could not lie. My uncle and if you ever see this, hey, Uncle Greg, I love you. But he would always come up to me and be like, hey, Nanny, what y'all doing? Nanny is my nickname. Hey, Nanay, whatchall doing? And I'd be like, we're doing this and this. And I would just tell him whatever it was, what was going on. 0:16:20 C And so the cousins, they was like, you can't come around us no more. And I was like, all the business. Yeah. And it just rolls off. Like, I'm not trying to I just was an honest am an honest person. Everybody's not up front, right? And so when I am asked a question, I am very integral. And so that's just how I've always been. And so what ended up happening across my life? I've actually had a lot of trauma. 0:16:57 C I'll just skip over the bad parts and say this. I was abandoned. Early on in life, I lived with my grandmother, who was an evangelist. She rocked me to sleep through my tears every night and helped me to she would sing songs to the Lord. And so Holy Spirit was then able to enter into my vulnerability. And he was able to tell me that I was somebody. He was able to tell me that, you have a place in me, Kimberly. 0:17:29 C You may not feel like you have a place here, but you have a place in me. And so I held on to that even after her passing. I've gone through the suburban trauma stories, and I've gone through the inner city trauma stories. My mother died when I was 16 years old. And I remember just the anger that I had that separated me from my old self, the self that loved butterflies and lily and frogs and turtles and I wanted to get and I kept saying to God, I want to be that person again. 0:18:08 C I don't want to be this angry version of myself. And God had to work through me. Those spaces of toxicity that when you deal with abuse, it breeds abuse within self. And so we become our abuser. And so I put myself in relationships that were not good relationship. And I stayed there. And I remember carrying my son, who is now seven years old, and I was living with my doula, and we were living together. And I remember my ex husband coming over and I'm telling him the different things that I needed. 0:18:52 C He said, It's funny how you could help all of these people, and now that you don't have anything, nobody's here to help you. And I said, I guess that's why I'm here. I am the help. And so that was my realization that everything that I had been doing was not only the right thing to do, but it was the God thing to do. And I should continue to persist in that way because I was challenged at my lowest moment to question whether or not I was even worthy or deserving of help. 0:19:33 C Because look at me now, right? And so I decided then I am going to be everything that God called me to be. I'm going to do everything that God said that I should do. I am going to give everything that God says to give. And so I do that to this day. I will not say the things that I've given, because that's for those people, those were their blessings. But I will say that I will not shorten my hand and God will call for my seed to flourish in this earth. And the one example I'll give you is this, is that there was a young lady I remember doing feeding ministry. 0:20:17 C And this one lady came up to me and she said, can you please pray with me? She said, I've been dealing with prostitution. I'm out here in the streets. It's dangerous and all the things. And I was like I said, now, is it okay if I lay hands on you? And she said, yeah. I said, now, if I lay my hands on you, then that's going to bring a clarity that you have not had in a long time. That's going to bring you healing. 0:20:42 C God is going to deliver you. And I said, And I want you to run forward, and I don't want you to look back. And so she said, okay, I'm ready. And this is an older lady. And so I put my hands on her, and we begin to go into prayer. And while I was working at the radio station, this lady comes running. I hear the elevator go off behind me as I'm getting off the elevator. And so I sit down in my chair and I hear this lady hustling behind me, breathing really hard. And she runs up to me. She said, hey, it's you. 0:21:17 C And I was like, okay, hello, it is me. Okay? And she said no. She said she pulled her work badge and she said, look, she said, you prayed for me. And she said, and I was in the street. She said, But I saw you the other day, and I realized you work here. She said, you pray for me right there across the street. Look at this. I got a job and I'm not homeless anymore. And all the fields just came over me, and it was just like that was the Lord, but God, you used me. 0:21:52 C How mighty are you? Look at this woman coming to say thank you. And so that's when I knew that it wasn't about me. It's not about my titles. It's not about any of the hats that I wear. It's literally about the world that I get to hug and hold on to and share the love of Christ with. So I don't know if you asked the question. I can't remember. 0:22:14 Coach Kimm I know. I don't know. But that was perfect. I don't know how we got to that point, but it needed to come out. I love it, and I'm just so happy that I know you're going to just bless so many people just listening to this. Because I remember your question. 0:22:37 C You asked me if I was always like this, and I want to say this to that too. Sometimes we can look at people today, right? And this is for whoever is listening or watching this. We can look at people today and we can say, that's what I want to be. But you don't want to be who I am. You want to be God's whole version of you. You want to be the person who comes out of your own fire. You don't know how heavy those trials were. 0:23:12 C You don't know how numb I had to become until what? I had to become numb too, just in order to hear God to get to where I am today. So envy not the now of a person and be jealous not their way of speaking today. And I'm not trying to be deep and I'm not trying to present something to be a certain type of way. I'm just really grateful that God allowed me to get to this place in my life. And I'm very grateful that I am a business owner now because my plan for my life wasn't for me to be a business owner. And I'm grateful that I'm able to lead people to a place of purpose, because that was not the plan that I had for me and just mothering my children the way that I do and just giving the way that I can give. 0:24:11 C These are all to God. Be the glory. It's not about me. And so I was not, in my own eyes, perfect. I was teased as a child. I was told I was nothing by my mother. And I had to break away from those words and I had to break away from that toxicity because that became a normal sound in my own mind. So anytime I tried to go forward, I would be like, but are you really worthy of and yes, you are absolutely worthy of me being available today. You understand what I mean? 0:24:46 C And we are absolutely worthy of becoming all that God said that we are, despite what we've ever gone through. Not that I was always perfect, because I've done things to people myself. I've hurt people, but I learned the lesson in that was I cannot think that protecting me means hurting someone else or I cannot think that separating myself or cutting ties, you're not cutting that person off. You're cutting the bondage off. And so you can still extend a kindness, extend a peace, extend a mercy of temperance, all the fruits of the spirit, and you don't have to be a bitter person. 0:25:29 C So this is a lesson for us all, because you don't know that. I had to get callous over my feet to learn to walk on this hot sand. Now I can rest in the sandals of peace because I found them in Christ Jesus. So that's what I wanted to add to that. Yes. 0:25:53 Coach Kimm And I love that trauma bonds. That is definitely real. So I just want to just commend you for everything that you're doing and how you're showing up and just how I know there's so many people who've just been just blessed and just grateful to have you. I'm just grateful for you to even be here. I'm just in my fields right now. I keep saying that, but this is all about you. And I know you said that it's not about you, but in this moment, it is about you. 0:26:30 Coach Kimm So I'm just so happy that I can share you with my people so that they can get inspired and powered and all the things. So I just wanted to ask, as you look back at everything on your journey thus far, how do you believe that aligns with the title, what she grows through? Because it's such a deep thing, and I'm just so surprised that it wasn't taken when I came along here. But how is that for you? 0:27:13 C I think it's about gratitude. When I look at the things that I've been able to sometimes when we say overcome people literally picture doing this, right, growing over something. But the strongest of trees burrows its roots through the ground. It burrows its roots through that building. They've decided to build. No, I'm going to push my weight around today. Right. And so we have to, I think, honor the fight in us. 0:27:57 C It was all good that I was taught to be a protector, that I was taught to be about that life. Right? It was okay because what that did for me was say, oh, no, we're going to lift righteousness like a banner again. I shut off. I'll cut it off. I stop it. I don't let things that do not serve our highest good stand in my presence and that's for everyone that's around me. It's not even just for me. It's like, no, you're not about to bound anybody up in confusion in here, not while I'm here, and you can't take me out. 0:28:39 C And so knowing that because some of the things I literally had to head butt mountains sometimes. Some of the times I had to track that mountain, some of the times I had to figure out this mountain look real smooth and real slick. So I had to figure out how to ease my way on up it anyway and get on around it. So when we think about overcoming power or we think about growing, think of yourself like the roots of a tree or the branches of a tree. See them branches? They gonna reach for that sun. 0:29:23 C Them roots are gonna reach down till they find water. They're going to, you know, if it's, if it's too windy around where they are, they're going to lean. They are going to lean. And I think about I grew up at Hampton University school setting and the Emancipation Oak. That is where Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, right? To free the slave. And I look at that tree, and it was a strong base tree. 0:29:55 C And as I have gone back home to see the tree, it leans forward. Now, that was 1816. Right. I want us to go back to the time that that thing was signed, right? That wasn't yesterday. It wasn't in the 19 anything. Okay, so that tree is still there, still flourishing with green leaves. It's still shading that area, but now it's leaning over. It has multiple ripples of branches that branch off of it. It is worth every year. It had to take and stand. 0:30:39 C And so it's created so many extensions of itself, but it's still attached to the root. And so that is what I think about when I hear what she grows through. You're not growing so that you could stand tall. You're growing so that you can come out from among them. That is how you present yourself or you are presented before the world. Because you can be standing in a room full of women just like you. 0:31:10 C And somebody says, excuse me, the Lord sent me to bless you, or the Lord sent me. I just got to ask you a question. I don't know why I'm led to come and talk to you. It's because I am extending myself outwardly. Right. I'm not afraid to. I don't have to just grow up. I can grow through and out and around and however I need to. But you can't stop me from growing. And that's the mindset that we have to tap into. 0:31:43 Coach Kimm Yes. 0:31:44 C Okay. I don't want to say drop the. 0:31:48 Coach Kimm Mic, but you just did that. Now I'm put that in the bio. I'll give you credit. Coach Kim came and just demolished everything and just put everything into just a beautiful perspective. 0:32:07 C Listen, my business name is Perspective 360. God didn't give me that for no reason, and I can be found@coachwithkim.org. I am Perspective 360 on all the platforms. And on all the platforms. It's also it's Coach Kim with two ends. You guys, two ends. But Perspective 360 was given to me by God because he made me very keenly aware of something. A trick of the enemy is to have us walking in the right direction, but we're not taking those steps that God has ordered for us because we're listening to Him. 0:32:53 C And so we're stepping right next to our blessing. That's right over here, but we're missing it. And so he said, I need you to shift their perspective 360 degrees because they're headed in the right direction. They're just not taking the right step. And so sometimes you have to do a complete turnaround of the way that you think, the way that you process, the way that you love, the way that you give. 0:33:23 C Turn that thing all the way back around and ask God to lead you in order your step. Don't ask yourself. You don't know. Don't ask your mama. She don't know. Don't ask your husband. He don't know. He don't know. He don't know. Adam woke up and was like, Whoa. Like, hey, girl. I think I like that. They don't know. It's like, we knew them every day. They like, I get to have you again today. I didn't mess this up. 0:33:57 C Okay? So turning to hear the voice of the Lord, turning to hear. And we can do that by studying His Word, getting into His Word, becoming a member of a fellowship with Him, not church. I'm not talking about going into a church building. I'm literally talking about saying, God, I want to know more about you. And I'm supposed to be following this Jesus Christ, so I need to know about Him, too. See, we are afraid to ask very blunt questions, and I think that's what separates the millennial from the Gen Z, because the Gen Z and the Gen X, they're like, no, what you talk about? 0:34:40 C And you're like, well, thank you for asking me so bothly baby, I'm talking about but we're taught not to question God. Don't you ask me no questions. I'm grown. I'm grown. It's because I said so. And so our mind is tricked into believing we're not supposed to ask. Well, that don't really sound like you, God. What is that? Have you ever asked that question? You understand what I mean? That sounded like it could be you. But can you affirm that in your Word? 0:35:14 C And he like, I show can, baby. Thank you. Come on, because we got a tool for that one. Come on. Because I would have it. That none show perish says His Word, so he gives us grace, he gives us mercy, and then he also grants us favor. So it says to ask anything we ask in his name. Then he will be. Faithful to do it. Ask of him asking, the door shall be open to you. So everywhere in the Bible it tells that, well, when Jesus was talking, he told us to ask, seek me while I am yet able to be found. 0:35:59 C Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these other things, they're going to be added to you. So he gives you a formula, seek my kingdom and my righteousness and all that other stuff that's going to be added to you. And that is how I got I think me personally, I got to that place where it's like come hell, God is going to raise high water. Because the Bible says that when the enemy comes in like a flood, the spirit of the Lord raises a standard against him. 0:36:36 C What is that standard? When I was being raped, God calls me to be numb. He numbed me and said, I got you, daughter. Don't you panic. Don't you adhere to their word. Don't you allow this thing to cripple you. I need for you to say something and you may come up against a little bit of backlash, but don't you be afraid to open up your mouth and say something. There are people who cannot hear me so they won't be in a position to be okay. 0:37:12 C So I need for you to say something. So I wanted to share that with you because that is the standard that God lifts up the truth. He lifts up endurance that enduring, that stay in power. He lifts up peace that surpasses all understanding. He lifts up a kindness where I can look at my racist and say, I hope you're having a good day today and have no animosity or look at his children and be like, I'm so glad I told because look at your life, you are safe and sound. 0:37:49 Coach Kimm Just thank you for all that you have dropped and I'm definitely going to come back and listen to this. Do you have any advice that you want to give? You gave more than enough. But if you wanted any key takeaways that you wanted our listeners to take from this. 0:38:15 C Absolutely. So as a business owner or a coming up entrepreneur, do not chase money. Chase your macro. Find that problem that you solve. If you find the problem that you solve, that money that you are looking for is going to come along with your skill set. It's going to come and I learned that. Yes. So do not chase the money. Don't look for where I can make the most money. Look for where can I make the most impact, what needs me the most. 0:38:51 C And then the second thing that I would say is drop your thoughts about other people's thoughts. You don't know them. You don't know the intent of their heart. Only God does. So forget what you may think that they think or what even you may get a vibe around them. So what? Let God work on that vibe and you stand in your purpose and you be who God called you to be. I call that walking worthy of the call that is on your life. And the third thing that I'll say about just being a homeschooling mom, I'll just use, like I said, the who I am, being a homeschooling mother. 0:39:34 C Step out and trust that if you taught yourself how to speak clearly or write the English writing or whatever the case is, if you taught that to yourself, then you're capable of teaching. You're capable of adding value to the world. And someone is waiting for a lesson from you. They're waiting for what you have to offer. And so don't be afraid to trust in your abilities through Christ Jesus. Of course we know. Like I said, God had to work on my protector because this was in juvenile detention for attempting murder. 0:40:21 C You don't know that they're looking at me, but that's where I was, because I was like, no, we don't get it, how we live. If you're coming out over here, you messing with what's mine, I'm going to take you up out here. And God was like, now too. Now, look, there is a way that seems right to man, but in the end, it's death. And so either you're going and I said, Well, Lord, I had to take responsibility. Forget how I was raised. 0:40:47 C I made that decision. I chose that. That was the only way that I could protect God. Teach me new ways. Ask Him. Teach me a new way, because the way that I know doesn't seem right, because it's harming someone else. So teach me a new way, God, and submit that you were wrong. Forget about, like I said, all the things that have happened. All the things are the things. But what did I do along the way? I have to always look back at me. What did I add or what decision did I make? Because then if I deal with me, then God can work on me. But if I'm always trying to deal with other people, god can't work on other people through me. He going to work on me through me. 0:41:30 C Yeah. Step by step, day by day, moment by moment. In the Bible, it says precept by precept. So there are principles in the kingdom that are for our good. And I know everyone is not a Christian, but everyone is called by God. Everyone is welcome into relationship with Christ Jesus. So this stands for you, too. So ask of God, tell Him, how do you use your superpower that you found in a power that wasn't holy? 0:42:06 C And ask Him and be willing to hear about the decisions that you made. And make some auto corrections that shift at 360 degrees. So that's my advice. That was long winded. 0:42:16 Coach Kimm I didn't no, that was perfect. And I just want to say thank you so much for coming on the show. You are really amazing. And I will be making some journal prompts because I definitely need to wind down, digress and take in all the knowledge that you just poured into me. So just be on the lookout for that. I will send you all the details. And this was just so great. 0:42:50 C You have helped me to put into words a journey of 1000 years. I'm 36 years old and you look good. 0:43:03 Coach Kimm I would have never know. I knew you was around my age. Like, I'd have gave you 30. 0:43:08 C Thank you, girl. But I kept asking God, why am I going through so much life so fast? I got there because you're learning people who stay in the same trauma. Like, I think about the children of Israel. They literally walked somewhere that was four days away for 40 years. Wow. I've never wanted to repeat a problem. I never want to repeat. I don't like consequences. What I got to do to not feel that again? 0:43:42 C What is the result of me? And so that is the way that I teach my children, because children are very much so, like, well, maybe this time it won't hurt. Well, maybe this time it won't hurt. And you're like, no, cuz it's gonna hurt every time. Stop doing that. Like, let's try. Well, how? What is it that you're trying? What is the outcome you're looking for? You want to get on the ground by jumping? All right, cool. 0:44:06 C Let's go to a trampoline park. Let me show you how you can jump. Right. So we have to be able to use children can't use wisdom, yet they have to learn wisdom, but use wisdom. Don't keep bumping your head with the same old same old tom, Dick and Harry. Don't do that. Don't keep running into the same girlfriends that's telling all your business. Don't keep running into the same church problems or hurt or job atmosphere. 0:44:39 C But you're the one who's gossiping. And now you're the gossip of the town and now you are offended. Well, we got to change what we do to change what we get to change where we go. 0:44:51 Coach Kimm You can't keep putting in the same work in the same environment and expect different results. 0:44:58 C Insanity. 0:45:00 Coach Kimm See, I just had to say it, like, how I did. But I knew. See, you knew what I was talking about. 0:45:06 C Yes, ma'am. So, yes, exactly. I think that the most important thing that I did was figure out how to learn a lesson. Figure out how to learn that lesson. If you learn that lesson, guess what? You don't have to repeat that issue. And God may test you one more time just to make sure. Like, are you sure? 0:45:37 Coach Kimm You know, I needed to be tested one more time. But I got it now. I got it exactly. 0:45:43 C Yes. And that's it. That's it. Specifically, it was like, for me, it was the marriage for me. And when I say that? I mean this I am a stickler for covenant, right? Like covenant is it. That's where I'm supposed to be in life. Now, with that being said, I wasn't going to move no matter what I was feeling. And God had to say to me, when are you leaving? And I was like, God, I mean, I'm not like, what you mean? 0:46:21 C We did this thing, like through the Bible. I was praying and they was praying and they prophesied and we prayed over our rain. What do you mean? The guy said to me, this is hurting you and I don't want you to be in pain. And I was like, well, Lord, this is my stipulation and this is how I'll leave. I said, if he releases me from the duties of being his wife, then I'm free to marry when I leave. And that way I can be found by the husband. That's for me. 0:47:00 C But I don't want to discard myself. And then I am ostracized from my true soulmate. That true love, that true kingdom marriage, right? And so that man came home and said, I am no longer responsible for you as a husband. I told God that was what my answer was. Never. I needed that answer. If that answer came to me, I believe. And that man came home and said those words. And to this day, if I asked him about that, you know what he would say? 0:47:38 C I didn't mean to say it. That's not what I meant. I didn't mean to say it. And I'm like, you know what God does? He turns the heart of Pharaoh so that he will release God's people even if he regrets it afterward. I ain't supposed to go back. Exactly. So ask a specific question of the Lord about the circumstance that you're dealing with. Be very specific about the answer that you're looking for, but make sure you're in prayer to the most high God who is above all things and listen for that response. That holy Spirit will be like, they're. 0:48:17 Coach Kimm Going to answer you will be like, act on it. 0:48:20 C Yeah. 0:48:21 Coach Kimm You mean it. That's a response that you wanted. 0:48:24 C Now it's time for action. Exactly. Because faith, right? I had faith that he was going to answer me, but I had to put in that work that said, I'm okay, you right. I'm stepping off on this thing, man. Let me go. 0:48:38 Shanell Lamere Thank you for listening to the latest episode of the What She Grows through podcast. I told you this conversation was everything and I hope you were able to take away what you needed in this moment. I will have all of Coach Kim's info in the show notes and definitely rate the show five stars. Listen, beautiful. It takes a lot to put these visuals together. A lot of long nights and early mornings. And, you know, I'm a mama, too, so that little gesture of appreciation is just so needed. 0:49:16 Shanell Lamere Stay connected by following our show on Instagram at what she grows through and even message me your takeaways from this episode. Slowly, we're growing together. I can feel it. I see it. I see the love, and I appreciate you so much and I look forward to sharing and speaking with you again. Until then.