Growing Into Your Future Self: A Guide To Desiring and Becoming The Person You Want To Be

Shanell Lamere:

You're listening to What She Grows Through, a podcast dedicated to empower and uplift Black women to grow their self worth. I'm your host, Shanell Lamere one of many dope Black women creating a community for us to pour into and align with one another, uncovering our true feelings from sexuality to self love, to begin growing through life and evolving into our best authentic selves. Let's get started.

Shanell Lamere:

What's up, beautiful? It's your girl, Shanell Lamere back again with the latest episode of the What She Grows Through podcast. And welcome hella. Grateful you're tuning in. The day after Love Day. Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and me personally, I had mixed feelings about it. On one end, it was a day dedicated to love and romance. And on the other hand, it just reminded me that in this moment, I'm not yet at the spot

Shanell Lamere:

And that's okay. It still was a day of love. And I'm heavy on this self love journey, and it's pretty dope for real, because your girl is falling in love with herself. I love that for me. And what better way to celebrate that than talking about desiring our future selves? So that's what I'm going to be talking about today. Okay, beautiful. And if you're ready to become the person that you want to be and maybe even find the love of your life along your journey, then you're in the right place because we're going to get deep.

Shanell Lamere:

So, you know, we're on this personal growth vibe, and reading has been a crucial part of my self development, self discovery, all the things. And I want to share some gems from a book that I had been reading, and it was called Personality Isn't Permanent. And I highly recommend this book. I think coming up on having read it like, about four times audible, but Hardy is dope, and I had to make sure that I put my What She Grows Through community on deep.

Shanell Lamere:

So going off the book, Hardy is talking about the power of desire. And I don't know about you, but there's something about that word that just be having me all the way, like, in my bag. And that's a good thing, though, because that's what I want. Like, I want to be that. So the first step in becoming the woman that you want to be is just to get clear on what you want. And we talked about this in episode 33 on Creating a Vision that You Want for Yourself.

Shanell Lamere:

And in the book, it talks about desire is one of the most powerful forces in the universe, and when you tap into it, you can create incredible changes in your life. So with all that, it all starts with desiring the best version of yourself first, and then the love and the romance can come. And I love that to have the ability to desire my damn self. And once I get to that point when we desire the woman that we are becoming, that aura, it just surrounds you, the confidence, all that begins to show.

Shanell Lamere:

So, from the ratings and reviews on previous episodes, you all love when I share journal prompts and tips and exercises. So I have a few that I want to share today. And it is here where you want to grab your notebook because we about to get all the way into it. Here's an exercise that you can do to help you start getting clear on what you want in your life and a little bit of love sprinkled in there.

Shanell Lamere:

So you take your notebook, your journal, your pen, pencil, whatever you like, and write down the person that you want to be in five years. In terms of your love life, who do you want to be in terms of your relationships, your career, your health, your spiritual life, hell, your overall sense of happiness and fulfillment? Like, take all the time that you need to really think about those questions. You really need to allow yourself to dig deep.

Shanell Lamere:

This is where you begin growing next. I want you to write down the qualities that you want in a partner. And if you celebrated with your boo yesterday, then this should be fresh for you. As for the single ladies like myself, we're going to write on what we want. What's the type of relationship that you want? And really think about it as you write your answer. What is the person that you want to be in that relationship?

Shanell Lamere:

And quick disclaimer, this is not saying that we lack anything. All we're doing is just writing so that we can discover more that it is with us and who we want to be and what we want to have. The intention is to just start getting yourself thinking about these things and taking that time to pull all those thoughts outside of your mind and onto paper. That is how we use journaling. On this journey of ours, we have our questions.

Shanell Lamere:

Once you've gotten a clear picture on your future self, the next step is to start becoming that person. Be her now. Our 2023 Mantra and in a book, Atomic Habits, the author, he talks about our environment and our habits play a huge part in shaping who we are. And by making tweaks and changes in these areas, we can start becoming the person that we want to be. So this Valentine's Day taught me a lot and I just wanted to share some gyms and tips that I believe that you can utilize along your journey of becoming your future self.

Shanell Lamere:

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who encourage you. The people who are there to listen to you, just to share your dreams with no judgments, the people who push you when you need it, the people who when you're around them, it feels as though you can just be great and actually become your best self. And when thinking about relationships, having those like minded people who are looking for the same thing.

Shanell Lamere:

Now the second one is pretty big for me. It's creating new habits that support your goals and your future self. This could be things like going out on dates with a significant other or your girls. I just took part in a Valentine's Day party over the weekend. It was dope. But start looking for events to be a part of. You can look on Facebook or eventbrite the things that are happening around you locally, online and altogether. Just putting yourself in social situations that will help you meet new people.

Shanell Lamere:

We have to begin building our squad, our million dollar team, and just networking. And the way I'm doing this is collaborating with another dope like minded black woman, Kodak Styles, and hosting my first but her second semiannual women's entrepreneur luncheon. So geeks were actually providing that space for connection to network and build new relationships with other like minded women entrepreneurs and Ice. So definitely check out the previous episode for how that one was manifested.

Shanell Lamere:

But the third gem that I have for you is just to take on new challenges and push yourself out of your comfort zone. And I try to talk about this a lot. You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable because on the other side of that fear is where all your dreams are. By doing this, you'll start to develop new skills and qualities that will help you become your future self.

Shanell Lamere:

And when you do that, the way your energy will just be set up, you'll easily attract the right person. It's almost like a pheromone at that point. But the last gem I want to give is just to get involved in your community and start making an impact in the world. Like how do you contribute to something bigger than you that impacts others. And I'm telling you beautiful, this will give you a sense of purpose and help you get more of those fulfillment and happy feelings.

Shanell Lamere:

And you know what that does making you even more attractive for your future partner, for yourself. And having this mindset, it really helped me during days like Valentine's Day. I just knew I had to share these with you. The final step in being her now, becoming your future self is to just stay committed to your goals and your vision. It's important to stay focused on what you want and keep pushing, keep moving forward even when things get tough because it's going to happen.

Shanell Lamere:

That's a part of this whole experience. And now you know, I have some tips for how you can stay committed in your future self also. And the first one for that is just keep your vision and your goals in front of you at all times and you legit have to see this all the time. This can be on a vision board. It can be a list of affirmations that you put up on your wall. It can even be a reminder on your phone.

Shanell Lamere:

Now the next one is just surrounding yourself with reminders of why you're doing this, your why, and what you're working towards. This can be inspirational pictures of your future self or partner. It can be a quote that inspires you or anything that just keeps you hyped and motivated. We have to keep pushing this in our subconscious mind daily. For Row, the third tip that I have for you is just we have to start celebrating our successes along the way, no matter how small we think they may be.

Shanell Lamere:

And this is proven to help keep you motivated and remind you that you're making progress and documented. That's big. You know, I'm a storytelling videographer. Of course I had to throw that in there. But it's so special to be able to look back at a moment in time. It can literally bring you right back to those feelings, all those dope feelings. Like, I love that for me. So document it. Celebrate your successes and document it along your way.

Shanell Lamere:

Journaling, pictures, visuals, videos, everything you can so you can have those moments. But lastly, don't be afraid to get help and the support that you need. This is one that I'm constantly working towards along my journey, asking for help and surrounding myself with people who believe in me, who will support me and work with me as I grow through this shit. I want you to do the same, beautiful. Like, surround yourself with people who believe in you as you grow towards becoming your future self.

Shanell Lamere:

So that's all I have for you today, beautiful. I hope you were able to take away some gyms and enjoy this god to desire your future self while throwing a little love in the mix. Please rate the show five stars if you enjoyed what you heard and definitely head over to our socials at What She Grows Through. Remember, the first step is just to get clear on what you want and then start taking action and becoming that person.

Shanell Lamere:

Becoming her. Being her. Now, stay focused, stay committed, and above all, have faith in yourself as we grow through this journey towards wholeness. I look forward to talking with you again. Until then.